We are right on the brink of February, and this is the point on the calendar where New Year's Resolutions fall like snowflakes. I've been thinking about that as my own will power begins to waver, and I have a few suggestions to help keep those goals and intentions alive longer while still being kind to yourself and enjoying life to its fullest.
I tend to resolve BIG
Almost all of my goals for 2020 include the words “every day.” Meditate every day. Exercise every day. Write every day. Shun carbs every day. Intermittently fast every day. But you know, not every day is the same as every other day. Some days some unexpected rockslides tumble boulders onto your to-do list. Some days, your energy rises only as high as “Couch Potato” level. Some days, happy opportunities for fun and excitement come frolicking into your life. You don't want to pass those up just to keep your resolutions, do you? Not when having fun is our main purpose for being here.
Grant yourself some wiggle room
Treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend, or your child. Allow for some wiggle room. Give yourself a day off of one or two or all your “must dos” when your soul is crying for a break. Or a freaking doughnut. I mean, really, are we going to be lying on our death beds wishing we had skipped more treats? Had less fun? Worked even harder? I don't think so.
Most folks, when told they have a limited time to live, quickly shift perspective and put all the emphasis on doing what they love instead of what they think they should. They follow their dreams and passions and desires. Doughnuts become guilt-free. They get a blast of clarity about what's really important. Kindness. Joy. Laughter. Love, Pleasure. Bliss.
A kinder, gentler standard
My new standard is to eliminate the words “every day” from my vocabulary. I will meditate most days. I will exercise more days than not. At the end of each month, should I tally it up, I will find that I kept to my resolutions on more days than I didn't. And that's enough to tilt the scales toward my end goals. It's enough to shift the balance, and start things rolling in the direction I desire under their own momentum. And that is how new habits develop and old ones get overwritten. The things you do most of the time become the rule, rather than the exception. And that is plenty.
It's enough. Whatever you feel good about doing, it's enough.
Love yourself more….
Remember, we are divine beings in physical form. We are here to experience the world through our physical bodies with all their glorious senses, so we can sort the stuff we like and want more of, from the stuff we dislike and want less of. Our only work is to stay focused on the stuff we like and want more of, which creates more of that stuff. (If we focus on the stuff we dislike and want less of, we create more of that.)
Our motives for doing anything need be nothing more than, “This feels good. I love doing this. This is fun. I enjoy this.”
So be in tune with your true self. Be quiet and listen to what your body, mind and spirit are telling you, and if they're telling you they want a doughnut, for Goddess' sake, give them one.